Poet Authority Poem Terminal

The big secret wedding everyone was talking about!

I couldn't believe my luck.

I clasped my grand invitation and kept telling the driver 'just here will do' as some large men guided us around a confusing array of barriers.

This guy was a pro, ignored every word I said.

He swerved through the barriers AND the homeless like they barely even existed.

His eyes firmly fixed on the prize.

She lay in bed eagerly awaiting his arrival.

Her eyes closed.

Her imagination raced.

She saw a knight striding towards her.

A bedside lamp gleaming in his freshly polished armour.

By the time Simon was done dealing with the straps and clasps and such Lucy had nodded off.

Simon stared forlornly at the bed.

He tried to climb in without too much clanking.

Then she looked at her husband.

She turned back to the athletic men and wondered if they might act as a source of inspiration.

The steep recline housing a can of beer suggested it was unlikely.

He didn't know what his job was yet.

So he just asked to have 'if you know, you know' written on there.

He also put the abbreviation underneath.

That being IYKYK.

Which is a popular thing people say on the Internet these days.

He pulled an orange from his pocket.

Slapped it on the little fold down tray thing.

And began the tedious peel.

It was the scent he enjoyed.

The knowledge it would work its way down the aisle.

The other passengers would no doubt salivate.

Desperate for a segment of his delicious orange.

'My orange!'

Screamed Tom.

Absorbed in the moment.

Merv the hitman was on a stakeout.

But he'd left his lunch on the kitchen counter.

His wife called the office and found out where he would be.

She took him a packed lunch.

Merv got in a muddle and shot her.

He reached an agreement with his target.

Merv would let him live.

And the target would dress up as his wife.

They lived relatively happily after this.

Who was a man,

So I'm just going to call them a postman from now on.

Packages started to mount.

Delays were occurring.

Mary's deliveries became less timely.

During one round of intercourse she demanded to know where her new jeans were.

The postman had to explain the backlog.

That they were probably in the big pile somewhere.

The mood was ruined.

He encouraged people to gather round.

Mike went to the kitchen.

He found the largest knife he could.

Returned to the party.

And stabbed Otto.

Later this was explained to the police.

They unlatched Mike's handcuffs.

Applauded his heroism.

In the morning he'd greet her cheerily.

He'd know she wouldn't feel like engaging.

He would enjoy that.

Symptoms include a willingness to ignore atrocities committed by host nations.

Plus additional clever things to say.

And a desire to own a football.

He didn't like it.

He had to go back to being straight.

Another option off the list.

The bland guy returns.

Even his order of quirky socks failed miserably.

He went on the hunt for some little orange people.

They were difficult to find.

Well.

There was one exception.

William didn't fancy employing that one though.

'Have you seen what's going on in the world?'

She said.

Tutting along the way.

Janet's friend John nodded.

Occasionally they met for coffee.

I don't like coffee.

A couple meet for the first time.

They marry and grow old together.

One of them dies.

But the remaining one remembers the good times.

This is all told in a comic strip.

And there's a like button you can click.

Frank started shaving.

He got carried away by the act.

Did his eyebrows too.

He turned to look at himself in the mirror.

Frowned.

It didn't really work.

He panicked.

Frowned harder.

Too fond, really.

He planted a tree.

In a decade or so he planned on using it to spy on them.

He noted this in his diary.

The globs of material he formed were atrocious.

He knew it.

He acquired a beret to counter any criticism.

Insisted people lacked the capacity to grasp his art.

Fred ordered a pizza.

The other guests assumed his pizza belonged to them.

He observed the vultures.

Begrudgingly distributed nods and smiles.

While there he bought himself lots of tins.

This aided his new hobby.

Pointing at tins.

Recalling memories of the olden days.

Mentioning how things used to be better back then.

There was nothing left to say.

Now she'd just complain about the weather.

The upcoming weather.

The weather a week ago.

It didn't matter.

This is what people were getting.

If they didn't like it they could leave her alone.