Poet Authority Poem Terminal

"How is your lockdown going?" it said.

He eagerly awaited the response.

Some thuds returned.

"Shut the fuck up"

Samuel convinced himself that had to be a coincidence.

They couldn't possibly have learned Morse code so quickly.

He got to work on knocking out the question to confirm.

He gave up and started speaking louder instead.

And with an even more aggressive tone.

Techniques for throwing pub furniture soon followed.

She moved into a flat in Barking.

Corgis yapping away.

A downstairs neighbour smashed the ceiling with a broom.

The Queen eventually gave in and called up the Beefeaters.

She rammed the newly acquired head onto a broom handle and displayed it outside her flat door.

Gary cursed his luck.

It confirms his suspicions.

Another day gone and he still can't float.

He ran outside and launched the curvaceous tool through the sky.

He spent the next three days calling out.

Trying to coax it back to his hand.

Tears froze as they tumbled down Geoff's cheeks.

His wife brought out supplies.

Knocked the snow off his head and begged him to come indoors.

He worried about how to handle introductions in the future.

Jeremy unhooked himself from the home office desk.

Dared to step outside.

He slipped on the ice!

It was carrying him all the way to work.

Straight down the A11 towards the Gherkin.

He flapped about unable to find any traction in his pyjamas and slippers.

Police ran alongside demanding to know whether there was a good reason for travelling.

Further down the road they waited to ensnare him with stingers.

She planned on scratching Catherine.

Planned on calling her a slag.

Hoisted sails on the roof and flapped his arms a bit too.

Perched the tool on his shoulder and winked at his date (on Zoom if still in lockdown).

The stick bit ground against the strings.

It sounded horrific.

He knew he should have practised.

It seemed almost impossible.

But there he was,

Sitting on the Google sign,

Waving the search results.

The postman hurled it down the driveway and smashed the door a few times with a telescopic rod.

"Thank you" screamed Brian, appreciating the brief contact with another human.

"You're doing this every fucking hour, Mark"

He leaned in closer.

"Cuckoo, cuckoo."

"Fine. I don't want one anymore."

Mark settled back into the couch.

A smug toothy grin filled his face.

It was hopeless.

The damn thing was too high up.

A woman was there too.

She also waited.

They climbed aboard upon its arrival.

Probably got off some time later.

Jade complained.

The garden was full of them now.

"It's like a damn Christmas market out there"

Andy got back on the web and ordered metal sheds instead.

It was time for a change of pace.

Oscar's thumb pulsed.

He aligned the hammer with the tip of the nail.

Observed the remnants of the wall surrounding it.

Gave the whole ordeal another shot.

Sue chimed in again.

"I just think it would work out better if you hit it."

The timing was inappropriate.

Oscar squealed.

Another miss.

All of the other bathers shrieked in horror and clambered out.

Jack enjoyed the ripples of the water.

He felt inspired.

I opened them eagerly.

Bills, mostly.

I punched the air with delight.

Others were alive!

They still wanted me!

He chewed on the nails.

Squeezed the tips.

Eventually he threw them into the river with the rest of the body.

He rode it to the end of the line.

He disembarked and looked around at the destination.

An old woman appeared, said he looked lost.

Robert agreed, offered a mint.

He couldn't help but laugh as he tried to grab the hilt with his oozing palm.

You know, for tickets to Alton Towers, Thorpe Park, that sort of thing.

They were all dated for 2021.

He remained positive.

Robert dug out a pen and some paper.

He clambered over the piano.

Slid across a dishevelled yoga mat.

Hacked through strings of yarn and dodged any protruding needles.

He fell into a bicycle and a pile of baking trays clattered to the floor.

Finally, he made it to his desk.

He swept away the scale models and slapped down his paper.

Then started work on a new list of hobbies to try.

"Not this again!"

Greg squeezed into a hazmat suit and hurried to the shops.

He charged ahead

On arrival he scoured the shelves for meal deals.

Nothing left.

It was time for plan B.

He began the hunt for ham and cheese and a loaf of bread.

He dragged the ingredients home and set them on the counter.

Tried to mash the lot together

Create some sort of meal for himself.

Eventually he collapsed on the kitchen floor.

Her wedding night!

Bethany groaned watching her husband unsheathed himself.

She knew his reasons for refusing sex before marriage were horseshit.

Sherlock Holmes sleuthed.

Suddenly his eyes turned into magnifying glasses.

His head got very heavy and he fell into the evidence.

Watson tried to haul him up.

Matthew slid open his tie drawer.

He greeted each and every one of them.

Complimented their appearance.

Gave a sly wink to his favourite.

Stroked them.

Chris had fallen asleep on Zoom.

He was surrounded by cans of beer and his mates were laughing at him.

One of the other lads got too excited.

Tried to daub rude words across Chris's forehead.

The pen smeared across his monitor.