Poet Authority Poem Terminal

Tiny Union Jacks were handed out as passengers boarded.

Prince Andrew hovered on deck.

He offered to free parents from their children.

Said he would give back to the community by nannying.

The children sat in small, dark rooms as he read them books about his mother (assumed).

Adults sloshed down alcohol and waved their flags as they waited for their opportunity to worship at the Queen's shrine. 

Mallory ran to the toilet declaring an emergency.

She clambered into the bowl and began some vigorous attempts at flushing.

After twenty minutes of trying to squeeze down the U bend and several enquiries as to whether she was ok she admitted defeat.

She climbed out and held her socks and shoes under the hand dryer.

Big eyes, feathers, wings, the lot.

Villagers presented a mouse to the owl.

In return the owl offered the villagers good fortunes.

The villagers cheered and the owl fluttered away.

Cumslap began pointing at everything.

Then Spider-Man swung over to another guy and crawled into that one's head too.

Fingers flashed before his gormless expression.

This whole ordeal continued through several people.

Spider-Man was waxier than ever.

He was hating the job, to be fair to him.

Eventually everyone was pointing at everyone else.

A whole room of scumbags, fingers transfixed upon one another.

They were, it came as a shock to no one, all liars.

Some poors worked in retail.

Argos, Poundland, that sort of thing.

A comedian rocked up and started asking questions.

For some reason he assumed they'd know the inner workings of their companies.

Be aware of stock levels in every department and so on.

He took this material on stage.

Jeff (18) took a razor to his scalp.

Set to work shaving off the hair.

He made a wig out of the harvest.

One less worry for the future.

It had to be.

There's no way he'd be so clumsy.

He watered them.

Spoke to them.

Loved them more than his children.

The children became jealous.

They bought plant pots and buried their feet in the dirt.

Jack lost it.

Screamed at them.

Called them frauds.

Then went back to reading The Gruffalo to his orchid.

Packed his bags.

Burned a few phrase books.

If needed, he'd let his fists do the talking.

Mary didn't seem to have a say in the matter.

She stamped her feet on the pedals and punched the steering wheel.

Called it a bastard too.

She received the silent treatment and sobbed into the glovebox.

He closed his eyes and imagined wading through the ocean.

It turned into a sort of noose.

Boo-Boo discovered him later that day.

Her eyes darting from left to right.

Hand edging towards the cake stand.

She snatched a Mr Kipling.

Guzzled the sponge in one.

Stretched back across her chaise longue.

Tom gave himself a game.

He laid down a reverse card.

Got confused.

But he called them french fries.

And he was in America.

So fair enough really.

She sold it back to herself for five times the cost of the materials.

Business was off to a good start.

She imagined the future.

A Rubik's cube.

Turned and finger gunned a mirror.

He ate chocolate and laughed at the people without chocolate.

The people without chocolate were sad about this.

His expression was joyless, perhaps owing to the air resistance, but in truth he was loving it.

Union flag fluttering in tow.

The next morning his mouth felt very dry.

Each journey became increasingly difficult.

Always causing more trouble than he's worth.

He hacked away at the strings.

Knocked out some old guff about love.

His girlfriend tried her best to tune it out.

Informed them it was his birthday.

Demanded they supply gifts.

For some reason halving the length of your arm was the done thing these days.

He smiled at the observation his brain made.

Then he missed Katie's elbow.

They fell into each other.

Their masks fell off their ears.

They kissed.

Police charged the pair down.

Began clubbing them with disinfected truncheons.

Zapped them with Dettol laced pepper spray.

Samuel L. Jackson got lost in his green screen.

He wandered about for hours.

Hurled the typical zingers at people he imagined might be there.

He cried out for Robert Downey Jr. and the rest of the gang.