A Poem About Getting Stuck in a Lift and Additional Thoughts

Janet Planet got stuck in a lift.

She apologised to her fellow lifters,

Informed them she was loaded with lactose intolerance,

And set about the balls of mozzarella she'd acquired.

I've never been stuck in a lift, but I am afraid of being stuck in a lift. That's interesting, isn't it? In America, which is a place I have some knowledge of, they call lifts elevators. Some quotes should probably be around that bit somewhere, to clear up the lifts and elevators part, but I've already moved on from that sentence. Same again, really. I don't think I'm the biggest fan of small spaces, if I'm being honest. It's one reason I've avoided dying so far. There are others too, but I don't fancy the small box. If I ever got married I don't think I'd have a traditional wedding. I've heard they cost a lot of money, which isn't even remotely surprising, because people constantly go on about them costing a lot of money. A wedding is a lot like a lift, if you think about it, especially if your wedding location of choice has sliding doors. And goes up and down a lot.