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Showing posts from July, 2024

The End

Daisy Cartwright flicked at her screen.
An endless roll of pastries being torn in half.
She thought it best to just end things.
And set about trying to bring on a nuclear war.
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Heat

I tried to think of things.
But it was 30c or something like that.
So my head was filled with heat.
And I couldn't think of anything.
I thought about turning on a fan.
But then I remembered I couldn't think of that.
So I just sat there and let fluids leak from my flesh.
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Finances

Herbert double checked his bank account.
Still empty!
He visited the local branch on his way to a game of baseball.
Let them know about the issue.
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Blessed

Mack dropped a knife.
The blade tumbled toward his feet.
Life flashing before his eyes.
His reflexes,
Aided by the imprecise tumbling of the knife,
Saved the day.
Mack was fine.
Though he never stopped thinking about the moment.
And would tell the story to any willing to listen.
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Family

Eddie gave up on house hunting.
Moved in with the local owls.
They came to accept his presence.
Asked him to look after their eggs.
Probably.
He couldn't be sure because he didn't speak their language.
But it seemed like the polite thing to do.
So he forged ahead.
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Meme

Jealously washed over Frank.
His cat had become a meme.
He hated being less successful than his cat.
He quit his job.
Sat there depressed.
Tried to think of ways he could become a meme too.
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Perusal

Pauline got a new hobby.
Navigating giant lists of movies.
She enjoyed scrolling through thumbnails of George Clooney and the like,
As the evening rolled on.
And then pottering off to bed at a reasonable hour.
She was in her element!
Friends were invited over.
Encouraged to join in.
They couldn't quite grasp the concept.
Kept trying to press play on Grease.
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Ice Cream

Carly requested one scoop of stracciatella.
She observed the person in the dopey hat,
Slowly hovering towards her choice.
He plunged his spoon thing into the chilled substance.
And resurfaced with a thimble.
Carly slapped her car keys on the counter,
Grabbed the offering,
And trudged off.
Contemplating the price of this stuff.
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Connect 4

Connect 4 was turning into a disaster.
Flint had forgotten how to count.
He felt the pressure mounting.
His opponent's judging stare.
He considered packing the whole thing in.
Flipping over the table.
And watching the little coloured discs scatter over his opponent.
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Basketball

Kevin owned a basketball hoop,
And a basketball.
And looked forward to owning a house to bolt it on.
He hoped to grow a foot taller too.
That might help with the new aspirations.
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Drained

Eric's toothbrush hadn't been charged.
His mouth had to be scrubbed,
Manually.
It felt sad.
He felt sad.
He made a note of this event in his diary.
Imagined his grandchildren reading it one day.
Their tears splattering the pages.
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Cinema

Jeff started reading a book.
And then he remembered movies exist.
He put one of those on instead.
Gave his book a new life as a coaster.
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Crisps

Ken ate two packets of crisps.
He told his wife about this.
He told her the flavours too.
And he told her that in America they call crisps chips.
Which he felt added a little culture to the conversation
She nodded.
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Computer

Bill's computer came to life.
He had to apologise for all the things he'd typed into it.
And all of the things he'd made it look at.
The computer looked irritated every time Bill wanted to check his emails,
Glancing down at the little clock in the bottom of its screen as Outlook loaded up.
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Starting Podcasts

Henry noticed he didn't have any podcasts.
'How am I supposed to have guests without podcasts'
He pondered aloud into the void where a microphone could be.
No, where a microphone should be.
No, where a microphone will be!
He set to work on a batch of the things.
Ten seemed like a solid amount.
Registered unique gmail accounts for each.
Ordered foam to slather over his kitchen walls,
And invested heavily in pop filters.
He couldn't wait to start discussing soils with Alan Titchmarsh,
If he was still around.
And Charlie Dimmock,
If she was still around.
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Pierced

David got his ear pierced.
He imagined how people would be talking about it.
About David getting his ear pierced.
And how he would go out and buy earrings.
That would be his thing now.
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Remorse

Alberto hung up some art.
Stared at it for a while.
Wishing he'd bought a TV instead.
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Baldy

Dotty's wig blew off.
He began chasing it down the street.
On this journey the sun on his dome.
It felt glorious.
Dotty's pace dropped.
He plopped himself on the nearby grass.
Watched as his wig vanished into the distance.
Leaned back,
Unbuttoned his shirt,
And took selfies with his glistening scalp.
He massaged it,
Told it how much he loved it.
And wondered how much more money he'd have to invest in sunscreen.
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